Less Than a Sparrow?

"Therefore I tell you, do not be anxious about your life, what you will eat or what you will drink, nor about your body, what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air: they neither sow nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not more value than they?" Matthew 6:25-26

I never thought I'd have to take this verse so literally. 

I live in America. I mean c'mon. Growing up my parents gave me everything. They still give me everything. And I, like every other spoiled brat born to an American dream family, take that for granted. I think you know what I mean. They give me everything. Food, transportation, education, clothing, you name it- they gave it to me.

And I love them because of that. I am grateful for not only the material things they have poured into my life, but the spiritual and eternal things as well. I am so grateful for the love my parents have shown me, the grace they have offered with open palms, and the reflection of God's provision they have poured into my life. They gave me the most important nourishment that fosters the soul and shows us what our God really looks like, at least a glimpse of Him. They led me to my Father.

And it's before that Father I stood today, asking, "Feed me?"

I don't mean this as a metaphor. This isn't some sort of allegory to how I'm hungry for His love, wisdom, and grace. No, this is real. This is me looking at my bank account after being on Project for five and a half weeks, realizing that I am in the red. Straight up, broke. Not a word my little pampered life is used to hearing by any means. 

Oh sure, I've been working for at least three weeks now. But, I don't get a paycheck for another week. And the one I did get last week (for one day's worth of work) has to be mailed home to be deposited in my account. You know what that means? Zero dollars until at least Monday. And even then- only thirty-five dollars of grace until my next paycheck...

No public transportation. No going out to dinner with the life group. No random coffee runs when I'm tired. No brunch after church on Sunday. No thrifting with my girls. No new toiletries. No new clothes. No bus. No laundry. No food. 

Am I less than a sparrow here?

I spent a good portion of my day today worrying about how I was going to make it for the next week with absolutely no money and almost an empty pantry. And you know what I discovered? Worry is only good for spoiling your mood, and consequently the mood of others. And you know what? That's not very reflective of God's mercy and Almighty provision in my life.

Trust? Who needs that?

Me. With a capital M.

Food? Well, I just have to say that while I might not be able to have my yummy yogurt, fresh fruit, and protein bars for awhile, the churches here on project are more than generous in donating canned goods, boxes of macaroni, bread, and other food items to our group. Hey, I can live off Ramen Noodles for the next week and a half right? Even in my poverty, I'm still a thousand times more abundantly rich than half the hungry people on this globe who God calls us to feed. I am, by no definition, starving.

And I think that's what God is trying to teach my obese little American brain. 

"But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore, do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble." Matthew 6:33-34

Am I less than a sparrow? Heavens no! I am a child of the King and I will feast someday at His table in glory. What more do I need on this earth?

And as for those Ramen Noodles- maybe I'll discover a new favorite food and stop buying my expensive yogurt and fresh raspberries and start supporting a starving child in a third world country. 

"What good is it, my brothers, if someone says he has faith but does not have works? Can that faith save him? If a brother or sister is poorly clothed and lacking in daily food, and one of you says to them, ' Go in peace, be warmed and filled,' without giving them the things needed for the body, what good is that? So also faith by itself, if it does not have works, is dead." James 2:14-17

* Note: I am not asking for money, nor am I bemoaning my state here on project. I'm simply seeking to reveal, even in an extreme light, the ways God is revealing His grace and provision for me. I covet your prayers and ask that if you feel convicted (as I do) about feeding the REAL poor- you would consider supporting a child through International Servants (http://www.internationalservants.com/www) where I served in Belize this summer, or Compassion International (http://www.compassion.com/) which helps provide food and education to underprivileged children worldwide. I'll be "adopting" my first child when my first paycheck comes in a week!